Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Myths are powerful tools that shape our understanding of the world and our place within it.
They can define personal and collective identities, influence behavior, and guide moral and ethical decision making.
Whether ancient or modern, they continue to play a crucial role in shaping our identities, beliefs, and actions.
By understanding the myths we believe in, we can gain insight into our own lives and the larger cultural forces at play.
Whether you're a digital native or someone looking to reclaim your sense of self in an increasingly connected world, the Myth of youf offers valuable perspectives and actionable advice for anyone seeking to understand and improve their self awareness in today's digital age.
You mentioned something so interesting to me is the model. And so your job was based on exterior, let's say appearances. Right. To what degree does the part of your inner right, confidence, personality, being play into that? Because are you simply for that job masquerading? And when in doing so, in your modeling career, did it almost.
I guess, I guess my question is, did it almost make you feel like you were someone different and not yourself versus allowing yourself to come through in your modeling? Because that's part of the appearance as well. I would say that innate, you know, intangible, you know, essence of who you are, that, that, that contributes to your, your beauty. But I'd. I'd be interested to find out in your modeling career because other people are dictating. Right. What you're looking like.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: So in respect, that would have been the case, but I was 16, so I didn't have a me.
So that became.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: Oh, your me was trying to come out.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: No, no, no. At 6 for me. At 16, it was, I'm doing stuff, not who am I?
And then that's why that's the coveted demographic even even earlier for advertisers, music industry, all that stuff. Because you form that relationship as you're forming your identity. And if we can lock in, you know, da da da da da. If we can lock in, get a Big Mac. While you're forming your Identity when you're 50, Big Macs are still part of you type thing. So I was forming because it was such a young age. I was forming my identity. And what ended up happening is it became me in a way where I had no depth. To me, I looked great.
And I'm not gonna blame any, anyone who's that age, because you're figuring it out.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: And then the confidence was still there and part of it. I'm thinking back to the meeting now with my one and only mentor who just kind of put me in my place where, you know, I walked in there, I looked the part, I was great. I was acting and I had the optics.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: Is not part of it. Yeah, isn't that part of it? The look, you know what I mean? To be in that industry, to be successful, Part of it is the whole essence, the whole. The whole package, not just the music. Right, Right.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: And the other big part of it is timing, which a lot of people don't realize. I was talking to an artist the other day.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Oh, that's. I think that's in every creative field, right. The timing.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: Well, especially in the music industry because there's only so much space and money and budget and resources.
[00:03:55] Speaker A: Well, same as voice actors. Just saying, right. At any given time. Right. Companies have a voice for their product. Right. And I always talk to people when we're talking about direct marketing. You know, you never know when a company wants. They have a voice, if they're going to want to change that voice or, you know, create a new product and have a new voice for that product. It's all kind of market demand there.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: I agree. And as far as the identity, I was so young, I didn't have one. So it was emulating whatever I thought I needed to do.
[00:04:28] Speaker A: I love how you said I was just doing things at 16. I was just doing things. And interestingly enough, at 16, what was I doing right at the time? I mean, I was riding horses at 16 and singing in choir because I loved it. But I didn't consider. And of course, in my faraway brain, I was starting to think, God, I'd love to do this for a living because I just love it. I mean, this is my happiness, my happy place is, you know, riding my horse and singing and being in the choir and being in musicals and all the other exterior influences were saying, you get good grades, you should look to do engineering at school. And it was just. That was other people starting to form again. And my. I guess what I was thinking, my dreams being a little bit suppressed and. Yeah. But I was doing things that brought me joy and I was fortunate enough to do that.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: Well, here's the other thing. As that identity and that quote, unquote voice was being formed for me, everyone's telling you, you're amazing, you look great. You do this, and then getting rewarded financially for it and then just it's reinforced and then that voice forms in your head. You're like, oh, yeah, I am amazing. I am the. Yeah, I look great. Look at this. Look at all the work. And then in one fail swoop, he did me that favor and he just crushed all of that. Where it's like, yeah, he crushed all of that because he made me realize there's. I was a swimming pool and if you jumped into me, you would break your legs, right?
[00:06:14] Speaker A: Kind of makes me think of my. Makes me think of my. You know, I guess if I consider one person that. That really had an effect on me. My. My honors English teacher. I was so self confident because I had embraced, if you remember in the previous episodes, I had started to embrace being smart. Right. It was no longer, you know, it was. There was classes, you know, where prior to middle school, and I was, for some reason, I was a popular girl. And then all of a sudden it turned into, well, you know, that girl is smart. And then it became something different. And I then embraced that to the point where I became a little arrogant and a little cocky. And my honors English teacher basically sat me down or gave me a couple times. She sat me down because I'm like, you know, I don't need to do any work to be part of this class, really. And so, you know, a few bad grades later, which never happened to me, and all of a sudden it was like, oof. You know, it' she knocked me down quite a few pegs and even had a few things to say to my mother at that point where my parents were always expecting perfect reports. And when that happened, I was just like, whoa. All of a sudden it was like, I need to rethink something. So that's what it makes me think of. So I guess I would consider her a mentor in my young years.
And I had what I had hoped to be a mentor when I was riding horses, because I started riding horses at a very young age when I was 12. And it was just something I loved to do. My mom, her friend, actually, that she worked with, owned a couple of horses and rode at this barn that was local to us and took me down there one day to get a riding lesson just to see every girl wants a pony. And I just fell in love with it. And she ended up being my instructor. And she was one of those instructors who I wanted to be a mentor. I wanted to look like her, ride like her, own a horse like her, and all those things. And what happened at the time is she was one of those educators or teachers that was kind of like nothing was ever good enough. Nothing. And it became like kind of beating me down every time I wrote. It was like, everything that I did wrong versus is there anything that I do right? And after I would say six years of that of working my tail off and always being told how wrong everything was. I actually became a pretty good writer, but my confidence level wasn't there. So there's a mentor who I wanted to be. Wanted her to be a mentor very badly because I looked up to her, and it ended up that she really wasn't. But then again, maybe she was, because I realized, well, this is exactly what I don't want.
Right. And this is not the type of encouragement, quote, unquote. It wasn't encouragement that I respond to that makes me excel at my skills. It makes me. In a way, it made me grow, but it didn't make me grow in a happy way. I grew, I think, despite it. And maybe. So then maybe. Was she a mentor or not? Because that was all that negative feedback which propelled me to become more determined than ever to prove her wrong and to, you know, be great. I don't know.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: That's a. I can answer that question. So, first of all, don't forget, a pat on the back is inches away from a kick in the ass. Yeah, I always remember that. And we were talking earlier, and this is a perfect segue into this. The idea of an accidental mentor, where somebody was doing something without realizing. And when I jump back quickly to Campbell, we're talking about the hero's journey here, and he's talking about meeting the mentor. And one part of what he talked about here is the mentor can help the hero prepare for the journey ahead.
So through this negative reinforcement or pushing me down, Pushing you down. Kick me in the ass. Just going, hey, you're not special that.
Whether it's welcomed, even preparing you for the journey. And for me, it was a kickstart to not spinning my wheels and going, whoa. You got to just learn, you know, nothing. And if you really want to do this really the right way, it's relationships and speak when you're spoken to at the beginning and absorb everything.
And, yes, you can have people who you emulate. And again, for me, it was more about technique, where, okay, there's a finesse to this. I got nothing. I need to at least get to maybe the same level as far as technique. And then basically, that was music theory, which I hated. But if you're gonna do music, you have to know music. So I was like, I gotta go learn music theory. I hate it.
But that's. That's a bare minimum. Like, how am I gonna be an Olympic runner if I don't run? Literally, if I just walk. Well, then you could be a speed walker, but bad analogy Sometimes they're good folks, sometimes they're bad, just coming up with them. But especially in music, it's like, how can you do music without no music theory? And then it's like, well, Michael Jackson didn't know music theory. This person, they just hummed and. But he was a performer. But the whole accidental mentor, just somebody preparing you for that journey. Sometimes without knowing it, you can think.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: About all of, you know, people on that journey when people are trying to push them down and say, no, this is not a viable. This is no good.
That's not a career or anything that will push them down, inadvertently become that accidental mentor. And so if I think your mental state is aware enough to realize that it can be turned around and you can say to yourself, you know what? And I think there is that breaking point at one point where, you know, at one point it's like, well, all right, I'm not gonna listen to this anymore. And I'm just going to, you know, defiantly move ahead.
Because now I'm angry to the point or my emotion has risen to the point where I just want to work that much harder. So using it as a way to propel yourself further towards who you are or your dreams.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: Well, it's funny, I think about this all the time when I speak to people about these things where it's like, you got to get it out of your system. Okay? So somebody berates you and pushes you down, you're like, I'll prove it to them. And then you spin it. And I hesitate to say waste years doing your own idea, but then once the tank's empty and you got it out of your system, then you're at the point where you go, oh, maybe they were right because I was stubborn for years, because they were wrong. And I think we all go through that process where it's depending how self aware you are. I think the time, it may not be years, it may be months. For me, it was years as far as slowly getting out of my system and going, oh, okay, yeah, he was completely right. But at the time, I'm like, no, I got my own ideas. And you have to fail and go through it and put all the work in and just go, yeah, this didn't work.
That completely didn't work.
And I'm actually thinking about birds. You know, when as soon as the chick comes out, the mother just takes him and throws him out of the nest.
Learn to fly.
[00:14:23] Speaker A: Go on, learn to fly.
Yeah. Or when you're learning how to swim.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: Get pushed in.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: Yeah. If you're flailing which, which you are, then you start sinking right away. But as soon as you just go, hey, wait a minute, your airfield, your lungs feel there. And then you start floating. You're like, oh, I can float.
And it's always different for everyone. And this is what I love.
So some people's books, stories are Tale of Two Cities. Like it's, it's a novel, sure. But then when you rewrite it, it becomes literally a few chapters because it's just brevity. And you figured out you've cut all the fat out and you're just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Now how, how long does that take for people to get through again? Everyone's different. And what I found though, and maybe you can speak to this too, is as I got later in life, the intervals got smaller. So I would have a breakthrough and it would be much quicker because I could reflect on the longer experiences of being, I guess, stubborn and not having the self awareness to realize, okay, that's not really me. Who am I? I mean, like, these are questions everyone has.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Stubborn is good in both ways. You know what I mean when you say stubborn. Is it stubborn when you're stubborn to realize or be aware of, you know, who you are so that you can move forward? Or is it stubborn in a way where you're defiant, right. Against other people's external influences and external sources that say to you, no, you cannot do this.
So stubborn can be good and bad.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: So for me, I can split the hair this way with the word stubborn. And I do agree with you, but on reflection, I'm thinking, what's the baseline? So if I have no anchor of identity and I don't know who I am and I'm stubborn, I'm going to be spinning wheels for years.
But if I have the anchor of identity and self awareness and I know who I am now, I have that gravitas, I have that weight, that anchor in the sea of life. I always use this like you anchor in and you're like, okay, I'm not going anywhere. And then as people come to you, it's just, it bounces off you because you have an identity. So now I feel if it's coming from that space and you're charting new ground, everyone's going to say, you can't do that, you can't, that's not the way to do it, blah, blah, blah. But if you coming from that anchor of identity, then you're just, it's, it's a new path. And when we talk about Neurodivergence and our neuroplasticity, actually.
And I always think of the analogy of a mountain with a stream. And then, you know, the water will flow really easily through that crevice because it's already been etched in. When you're trying to make new pathways, it's always hard, but then, you know, the water flows. So for me, that's why I'm kind of splitting that with the two instances I think of stubbornness, where it has to come from a place. And again, this is. I'm not preaching and telling anyone what happens, but just reflecting on my experience. It had to come from a place of that identity and self awareness first. And then as I said earlier, art is an expression of you. If you don't know who you are, how are you gonna express who you are? And I think life is art. There's an art to living a good life. As the Europeans say, how can you.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: Tell a story or grow a story without knowing it? I'm always saying that to my voice acting students. You know, you can't tell the story if you don't know what that story is or have a baseline. I like your baseline idea because the baseline of, let's say, understanding who you are. And okay, you're stubborn, but you're going to use that in a way that will help move you forward rather than leave you behind, right? Because that stubbornness could be like, oh, I refuse to learn music theory or I refuse to, you know, whatever it might be, because you want to do it your way, but yet, you know, that can hold you back. But yet understanding who you are and knowing that you are stubborn can also help you to again grow because then you can blaze your own path. I mean, the thing is, is that for you, you're talking about getting into an industry where, you know, certain, there are certain steps, right, to get there.
And there are a certain, there are certain ways to get there. And so educating yourself, I mean, education I think is so darn important, which is probably why I've been in education most of my life. I feel like educating ourselves on ourselves, right? And educating ourselves on a day to day basis is so very important in terms of growth.
But it's really incredible knowing like when we discover our own and we look back at our growth and who we were and how we've evolved, it really helps us to move forward.
And I love that we are defining all of the steps, the steps of the hero's journey, because it's really helping me to identify those pivotal moments in my Life that gave me an inkling or an indication of, oh, okay, this is who I resonate with. This is the me that works at this time. And I don't think there's a me that can't evolve. Right. I think there's always evolution in your self discovery and who you are. And because again, like I say, I am that type of person. I can't remain stagnant. If I remain stagnant, it's the death of me. It's just things become very boring.
So for me, I constantly have to think of new things and move and evolve. And I think anybody else who might be a serial entrepreneur, such as maybe ourselves, I don't know if you describe yourself as a serial entrepreneur, but I consider myself one because I always have these ideas and I'm like, oh, I want to try that. Wait, I want to try that. And I think a lot of it is just because I don't want to be bored.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: Well, there's a word that popped up recently.
I was at a podcast recording of a friend I knew who. Who we knew. We knew each other in high school and we. I was one of the top, like I mentioned earlier, top debaters in the country. And we would often see each other in the finals. And I hadn't seen him or knew of him, and I saw his name. I'm like, oh, okay, they're doing a live recording. Let me just go. I. Podcasting is what I do.
And he was doing the intro and somebody was talking about him, whatever. And they. He was described as a polymath. I'm like, polymath. Well, I'm a polymath. That sounds really special because polymath means you just do a number of things. I'm like, yeah, I'm a polymath. I do a lot of stuff. And as you were just mentioning, maybe that's me. That's you as well.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: And I've been kind of carrying that as a little bit of a badge for the last three, four weeks. I'm like, yeah, I'm a polymath. Okay. It's just a different way of saying you do stuff, but you do stuff.
[00:22:06] Speaker A: You do lots of stuff. Yeah.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: When you say I'm a polymath, it was like, oh, that's. That's a word.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: Okay, so you're poly.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: That's a word that puts you in a. It puts. Puts a label on you. Right. Puts a. Puts you in a box without containing you in a box. By definition. I kind of like that. Right.
You do a lot of stuff that's good. So therefore I'm not restricted.
[00:22:32] Speaker B: Exactly. And all these cliches are just starting to become real for me. And it kind of bothers me a bit. But there's always a kernel in truth and things that are retold where the teacher will come when you're ready. Or maybe the accidental mentor, as a teacher will. And here's the beauty of it, I think Ann too, as I'm reflecting now, there's a lot of these accidental mentors.
They didn't even have a clue what they did for me. There was no intention of being an influence for me. Like they were just being them, whether they were being mean or just being what they wanted to do, what they didn't want to do.
And when that happened, it was a moment that made me reflect. And they have no clue what they did or what they didn't do. But it put me in a different path where it's like, oh, yeah, that happened, that happened. And they just move on their merry way. They didn't even know the influence they had on me, but I was ready to take in the lesson.
And on that note, I want people to think about their story and maybe people who influence them and have them course correct unintentionally or, or we're talking about these words, this word accidental mentor, where as. As Campbell referred to it, it's not necessarily somebody taking you under their wing and guiding you, which that can happen, but it can even be the idea of someone helping you to prepare for that journey. And I love that we're talking about this because as a listener, as you're hearing this, and hopefully you can reflect on your own story, maybe identify some of those and see how they're.
They made you go different direction. It's really, really interesting when we all take the time and hopefully you'll join us again next time. Thanks for listening.
